I’ll just come out and say it: I’m scared of the new Classic Loki figure from Hot Toys.

By this point, I’m used to the fact that the sculpts on Hot Toys’ figures are exceptionally close to reality, and it’s something I’m at once both impressed by — I come from a toy era where the best thing that could said about the similarity between Kenner’s Star Wars figures and the actors they were based on was often, “well, they have the right number of limbs” — and creeped out about; after all, toys shouldn’t look that lifelike unless they’re part of a horror story about dolls that trap the souls of their owners inside. Look at the Kang figure, or the Moff Gideon; they’re worryingly good. The genuinely amazing likenesses are something that I thought I’d gotten used to by now — and then I saw the Classic Loki figure.

I mean, look at it.

No, really: look at it.

There’s the uncanny valley, and then there’s whatever the hell this is:

It doesn’t look like a toy; it actually looks like the actor Richard E. Grant. It’s the kind of thing that immediately makes me want to ask what kind of magic and/or Photoshop trickery has been used to make this image, because the idea that this is actually the Hot Toys figure and that said figure actually looks like that is something that feels almost impossible.

Hot Toys Classic Loki is available for purchase now, via Sideshow Collectibles. Just make sure that you keep it somewhere safe at night, just in case it gets up and tries to attack you for magical reasons, is all I’m asking.

Loki! He’s not just a creepy action figure, he’s also a condiment at McDonalds. Is there nothing this trickster cannot do?